It is a relief to have said goodbye to 2015. It wasn’t all bad, I guess: celebrating another year of life, celebrating the birth of a nephew, celebrating another year of togetherness and marriage, vacationing, seeing my family, spending time in my hometown, seeing Alex’s family… — in the grand scheme of things, I should be thankful. But I’m just not. 2015 was filled with entirely too much heartbreak to color my glasses a shade of rose because of a handful of positive occurrences.
Losing my grandma on the day of our nephew’s birth was jus confusing and heartbreaking — an unbelievable coincidence. Losing my grandpa two weeks later was excruciating. On vacation, I couldn’t silence the memory of his funeral service as I looked upon the Na Pali Coast, Psalm 23 playing over and over again in my mind. I cannot fathom putting a positive spin on the profound loss of two incredibly important people to me, people I owe much of my life to. I found myself crying in public for weeks after their deaths, and soon found myself doing the same when I miscarried my first pregnancy. A miscarriage: how can one be thankful for that? Alex and I don’t have the ability.
It’s amazing how loss can sour an entire year.
And I am so glad that 2015 has ended.
This year, however, has yet to be marred by tragedy, and has revealed to us an expanse of joys to look forward to. There are promotions (and raises) on the horizon, a 29th birthday, a 9th (!) anniversary, at least one bigger vacation, a few mini trips, and an exciting summer to look forward to. I certainly am thankful for 2016, and can’t complain about what promises to be a wonderful, happy year for us.
This year, above all else, we’re going to take things one step at a time. It was advice we got from a perfect stranger on the day of our wedding, but we didn’t realize just how important and poignant that advice would be to us later. We’re going to plan what can be planned (like concrete vacation dates, which thankfully our schedules allow), and let the other chips fall where they may. The only thing we have to hold on to is the present, and we’re going to hold fast.
We hope your holiday and New Year’s Eve celebrations were filled with happiness, and that 2016 brings you more of the same.